Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A special message to the drunk guys walking past my window

by Chloe Angyal

Gentlemen,
For future reference, please be aware that drunkenly shouting any of the following things at your friends while walking past my window as you return from the Street makes you sound like a misogynist and a homophobe:

"You cocksucker!"
"You are such a pussy!"
"Man, that girl is such a slut"
"Dude, you're such a lame cocksucker"*

Is that really the best you can do, guys? Bambi would say, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I say, if you're going to drunkenly spew hatred, at least be original about it. And try not to wake us up with it.

*Extra congratulations to the subject of this last epithet, who has apparently managed to perform fellatio despite having use of only one of his legs.

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